A New Adventure
by NightLightning21
Summary: Set in season seven of call the midwife. Valerie has already found a steady friend in Lucille. But, with a little help from some old friends (named Pasty and Delia) she begins to realize that she might want something more.
1. A New Adventure

A New Adventure

Valerie was tired beyond measure. She slowly wheeled her bike back to Nonnatus, not even having the energy to ride it. The only thing keeping her going was Lucille. Also known as nurse Anderson.

"Come on Valerie," Lucille prompted. She nudged the brunette, encouraging her to walk again.

"I'm really getting too old for this," Valerie joked, finding the energy to push again. The recent delivery had been exhausting, an eight hour affair. And to top it off, Mrs. Robinson had ended up delivering twins. Two beautiful little girls. It warmed Valerie's heart just thinking about it.

"I hope Mrs. Robinson will be okay," Lucille admitted, expressing concern. "I fear she may have damaged her body somehow will all that thrashing around."

"Well, at least, in the end, she accepted you," Valerie said, smiling at hr friend. Mrs. Robinson had initially been suspicious of the new midwife.

"No way I'm gonna let one of them treat me," she had practically spat at Lucille.

"I am used to it," Lucille said, the tiniest hint of anger in her voice. Valerie shook her head, refusing to let this happen.

"They will come around," she insisted. "And besides, once they see who you are, nothing else will matter." Lucille shot her a curious look.

"That sounds a bit like the voice of experience," she said, probing gently.

"I was born in the East End," Valerie admitted, focusing on wheeling her bike among the cobblestones.

"When I was in the army, my background was looked upon with scorn. I was considered to be lesser than the other nurses. But, eventually, I was able to prove that I was every bit as good as someone with a wealthy background."

"I hope that happens to me," Lucille said, allowing a touch of hope into her voice. Valerie hated to see her friend so forlorn and hurt.

"It will." She took Lucille's hand, squeezing it firmly.

"Come on, hopefully we can get back to Nonnatus in time for supper."

Valerie sat back, allowing herself to lean back in her chair.

"How was Mrs. Robinson?" Sister Julienne asked, turning her attention to the two midwives.

"She was fine, thank the Lord. Luckily, we were able to get both girls out and crying when the air hit them," Valerie said, grinning at Lucille.

"Oh, we got a letter from Barbara and Tom. They are doing well. Barbara says she misses all of you terribly. And that she hopes to be back soon," Sister Winifred cut in.

"I'm glad. I've been missing my roommate," Phyllis said, smiling warmly at the news. The conversation continued, until Sister Monica Joan came running into the room. Or, rather walking quickly.

"Hello everyone. I come bearing great news. I have received word from young Nurse Busby that they will be coming back quite soon." She waved the letter in the air like it was a trophy.

"Nurse Busby?" Lucille questioned, looking at Valerie.

"She's a nurse who lived here for a while. She and Patsy, or Nurse Mount, left to see the world a few month ago."

"Well then, it seems like a Nonnatus House reunion."

It turns out, Lucille's statement turned out to be truer than anyone ever thought. Within the next month, Barbara and Tom had surprised everyone with their return. Trixie had returned from her break, in a better place than when she left. And, Patsy and Delia had returned just a few days later. Lucille found the whole thing both exhilarating and overwhelming.

* * *

"Are you going to start working again?" Sister Julienne had asked Patsy after she'd gotten settled. The room arrangements had been tinkered with, to fit everyone. Nurse Crane and Trixie were now sharing a room, while Barbara and Tom had moved to a house.

Valerie and Lucille kept their own arrangement, and Patsy and Delia had asked to room together. Lucille wandered over to a couch, sitting a cushion away from Nurse Busby.

"Hello," Delia greeted warmly. Lucille smiled at the open kindness from the brunette.

"Hey. Sorry, I was just a bit overwhelmed." Delia laughed in response.

"Oh, indeed. What, with all of us moving in here, I'm surprised you haven't tried to find a new place to live. Go on."

"It really is lovely having you all back. Valerie has told me so much about you." Delia blushed slightly.

"Yes, well Valerie told me a bit about you in her letters. It really is lovely to meet you."

"You too. And, Patsy of course. You two seem very close." Delia smiled, but suddenly, she seemed to be a little guarded.

"Yes, well, she's my best friend," Delia said, providing an almost convincing smile. Lucille noticed, but decided not to press.

"So, you're a midwife?" she asked, steering the conversation on more comfortable ground.

"Yes, I qualified a month before Patsy and I left," Delia said, looking down at her cup of tea.

"Why did you not stay?" Lucille asked, genuinely curious now. Delia shrugged, thinking about her response.

"Oh, Pats and I wanted to see the world. We thought then was a good time." Lucille smiled, knowing that was also one of her goals.

"I'm sure it was lovely," she said, trying to picture far off places. Other than her home of course.

"Oh yes. We went to so many beautiful places. It really was quite the experience."

"There you are," Trixie said, walking into the room. She took a seat on the chair, setting her tea down on the table.

"Hey Trix," Delia greeted, smiling at the other midwife.

"Sister Monica Joan is having a fit because she can't find any more cake. She wants your help to find some," Trixie said, winking at Delia. "It's almost as though you've helped her in the past." Delia shrugged, bright eyes admitting everything.

"I may have been of assistance," she said, before getting up to go to the kitchen. Trixie laughed, before turning to Lucille.

"One does not simply brush of Sister Monica Joan on a mission," she said, sharing a laugh with Lucille.

"I'm not quite sure I understand. Was Delia working for Nonnatus?" Lucille asked. Trixie seemed to wait a moment, thinking about her next words.

"No, she was a nurse. But, she and Patsy were so close, that she decided to move in. She was already like family." Trixie inhaled her cigarette, thinking for a minute.

"What about you? How are you liking Nonnatus?" Lucille smiled, not even having to think about her answer.

"Oh, it's wonderful here. And Valerie's been absolutely marvelous." Trixie was about to answer, when the sound of the telephone cut her off.

"Darn, I've got to go. We can talk tomorrow," Trixie said, before rushing off to answer. A couple minutes later, she heard the blonde nurse leaving Nonnatus.

"Today certainly has been interesting," Lucille said out loud, taking another sip of tea. She had a feeling that Nonnatus was going to be very interesting in the coming months.

 **This story is mainly based on Valerie and Lucille. And how their story progresses. But, a few things, yes Patsy and Delia come back. No, Barbara does not die in this story. And, Trixie is back. I wrote this for two reasons. One, to explore the relationship of Valerie and Lucille. And the second is to bring back the characters that I've loved.**


	2. Tests

Tests

In the months that Valerie had lived at Nonnatus House, shed found the residents there to be as close as family. She'd learned some of their worst pain, seen them in their best and worst. She'd laughed and cried with all of them. And yet, each and every member had secrets that no one seemed to know about.

She'd found this out when Trixie had been given a leave of absence. She didn't buy Sister Julienne's story for a single second. But, she didn't push. She never pushed. That was what worked for her. If someone wanted to tell her, she would listen. Otherwise, she would let other people live their lives.

"Hello, Valerie," Delia greeted, stepping into the kitchen. Barbara was close on her heels.

"Hello you two," Valerie said, going to sit down. "How was work?" Barbara rolled her eyes slightly.

"I was absolutely bombarded with Mrs. Peterson today. She wanted all of the details of my marriage." Barbara grimaced slightly. Delia and Valerie just laughed.

"What can we say? You're the talk of the town," Delia joked. Barbara shot her a look, a smile on her face.

"Why does everyone always want the gossip? I say, we let people live their lives in peace." Delia nodded in agreement.

"I'm not sure you'll convince Trixie of that," Valerie stated, laughing. "She's always up for a bit of gossip. Who likes whom. You know." Barbara smiled, thinking of her friend.

"Yes, she's constantly telling Patsy that she should date." Valerie frowned, thinking for a moment.

"Is Patsy seeing someone?" she asked. It was barely noticeable. But, Delia's posture turned defensive, her blue eyes became guarded.

"No," she said, in a tone that seemed almost lifeless. Valerie nodded, sensing that now was not the time to push.

"Well, that's quite alright. I'm currently single as well." With that, she finished that particular line of conversation, and they moved back to work. Valerie began telling them about the rather tiring birth of twins she'd delivered.

"Oh, you guys are still up," Sister Winifred said, entering the kitchen with the rest of the girls.

"Look at this," the nun handed Valerie the newspaper for that day. She began reading through the headlines, seeing nothing that was particularly interesting.

"What?" she asked, handing the newspaper back. Sister Winifred took it, and pointed to an article near the bottom.

"It says that Mr. Thompson has been arrested on charges of gross indecency. He's… he's one of them. A queer." Sister Winifred glared down at the paper.

"Is he married?" Barbara asked, looking at the article for herself. Sister Winifred nodded.

"Yes, married with two kids. Think of his poor wife." Valerie wasn't really thinking of his wife.

"And to think she married someone so… unnatural." Sister Winifred spoke the words like they were a crime in itself.

"I don't think they can really help it," Valerie pointed out. She was just trying to get Sister Winifred to see reason. No game.

"It's immoral. I just hope he learned his lesson." Valerie chanced a look at Delia. The brunette was half biting her lip, anger and hurt flashing in her eyes. Valerie's heart broke for her. But, it also solidified exactly what she thought.

"Well, everything will work out in the end. Meantime, does anyone want a cup of tea? I've got water on." This time when she looked at Delia, she brunette shot her a look of relief and gratitude. Then, it was quickly replaced by a neutral mask.

* * *

Delia sighed as she crawled into her bed. Hopefully Patsy would come tonight. She had something she needed to talk about. Delia stared at the wall, half wishing she would go to sleep. Half wanting to stay up.

Her decision was made for her when she heard her bedroom door slowly open. She didn't move until she felt the bed dip with the added weight of Patsy.

"Hello, Deels. I missed you today." Delia smiled, turning around to face the redhead.

"I missed you too. Even though we are living together." Patsy quickly sensed something was up.

"What's happened, Deels?" she asked. Delia sighed, and thought back to the conversation. Briefly, she began to recount the event.

"How horrible. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Sister Winifred really can be quite…" Patsy trailed off, not entirely sure how to finish that sentence. Sister Winifred really was a lovely person. And, she'd been incredibly kind to all of the nurses.

But, if she found out, Patsy didn't know how she'd react. Not well, if Delia's story was anything to go by.

"There's something else," Delia admitted, leaning into Patsy's shoulder.

"What is it?" Patsy asked, worry tinging her voice. Delia took a deep breath, and just spit it out.

"I think Valerie may know about us," she said. To her credit, Patsy didn't shoot off the bed, and run screaming into the night. But, her eyes widened, and her heartbeat increased tenfold.

"What?" she asked, trying to keep her voice down. "How does she know?" Delia winced.

"I'm not sure. But Pats, I trust her."

"We can't afford to trust anyone," Patsy refuted. Delia shook her head in frustration.

"Pats, I know the risks. But, I trust that Valerie wouldn't tell. She's the one who redirected the conversation when she saw me. She knows." Patsy rolled away, staring up at the ceiling.

"Who else?" she asked, knowing that other residents of Nonnatus may very well know.

"Nurse Crane. And, probably Trixie," Delia said, thinking of their closest friends.

"But, how could Valerie know? She's only been here a little while." Patsy racked her mind, trying to think about when they were being careless.

"I think…" Delia faltered, knowing the danger of even saying it. For all of them.

"I think Valerie may be… like us. One of us." Patsy's eyebrows shot up. She turned around, and looked at Delia, eyes as wide as saucers.

"You really think?" Delia shrugged, knowing she would have to explain.

"I… I saw her looking. Looking the way I used to look at you." Patsy thought about it for a second. In her memory, Valerie had never mentioned a suitor. Nor had she mentioned any interest of men.

…

"Who was she looking at?" Patsy asked. Delia flinched, not wanting to assume anything. But, she was fairly certain.

"Lucille."

* * *

 **I think this will be a slow burn story between Valerie and Lucille.**

 **Next time… Delia begins to try and figure out more about Valerie. What she doesn't know, it that her target is also trying to figure her out**

 **NightLightning21**


	3. Mistakes

Mistakes

Valerie gulped down the last bite of bread, quickly swallowing the small morsel.

"Valerie, you seem in a rush," Trixie commented, eating her own piece of bread. Valerie just shrugged, grabbing her plate. She headed to the sink to wash it, answering on the way. "I promised Lucille we'd go and see a movie tonight," she explained. Delia glanced up from her plate.

"Where is she?" the brunette nurse asked. Valerie headed back to the table, grabbing her cup of tea.

"Oh, she's due to get back any time now," Valerie answered. She took a sip, before going to another room to grab her coat. On her way back into the kitchen, she almost bumped into Patsy coming in as well.

"Oh, hello, Patsy," she greeted, as the redhead passed her. Patsy nodded in greeting as well, before stepping over to the stove. Valerie narrowed her eyes as she saw a discreet glance pass between Patsy and Delia. Delia smiled slightly, her eyes flashing briefly with longing. The other nurse sent a smile towards the brunette, before going back to her tea.

"Well, I best be on my way," Valerie said, pulling her coat over her shoulders. "I'll see you all later. Don't miss me too much." She threw them all a cheeky smile, before heading out. Hopefully, she would meet Lucille coming back. She wandered over to the bike rack, looking for the other nurse. No luck there.

However, just as she began to leave, she saw a flash of red coming around the corner. She couldn't help the smile that broke out onto her face.

"Hello all," she greeted, beginning to walk up to the other midwife. Lucille smiled, braking quickly.

"Hello. Are you ready to leave?" she asked.

"Oh, don't you have to prepare. I was actually coming out to meet you," Valerie said. Lucille smiled, climbing off her bike to wheel it back.

"Oh, thank you, my prince, in shining armor," Lucille teased, as she put her bike back.

"Uh, princess," Valerie corrected, leading them both back into Nonnatus. Lucille laughed, leading the way up the stairs. They both entered, heading straight for the fireplace.

"Uh, I know we had plans to go out…" Lucille trailed off, as she sat down on the couch. "But, I'm not feeling too good. I think I may be coming down with something," she said. She glanced up at Valerie, eyes begging for forgiveness. Valerie felt her heart twist for her friend.

"Oh, please please don't apologize," Valerie said, sitting down next to the brunette nurse. "I don't want you going out if you're sick." She patted Lucille's shoulder, trying to offer comfort.

"Oh, hello you two," Barbara said, coming into the room. "I thought you had plans for tonight," she said, confusion entering her gaze.

"Oh, we did," Valerie explained. A glance over at Lucille told her that the other nurse didn't really want to talk.

"But, Lucille's coming down with something. So, we decided not to go out."

"Oh," Barbara replied, shooting Lucille a concerned look. She also went over to the couch and laid a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"I hope you feel better," she said, sympathy in her eyes. "I'll see you two tomorrow," she said, getting back up. "I've got to get back to Tom. He'll be wondering where I am." Both nurses nodded in understanding.

"Uh, we'll see you tomorrow," Valerie answered. Barbara smiled, before shooting one last sympathetic glance at Lucille.

"Make sure she gets better," she said, a playful note entering her tone.

"I will," Valerie promised.

* * *

"Well, we really should get to bed," Patsy remarked, finishing the last of her biscuit. She'd slowly been inching towards Delia throughout the night while they were talking with Trixie. Now, she just wanted to go to bed. Hopefully, she could sneak out tonight to visit her girlfriend.

"Ah yes, we've all got shifts tomorrow. And you Delia, you've got your final exams in just a few weeks." Trixie smiled as Delia grimaced.

"Thank you for reminding me of my impending doom," she said, groaning and flopping down on the table. Patsy and Trixie just laughed.

"Oh come on, Deels. It's not that bad. I passed it." Delia's eyes glinted mischievously.

"You're right, Pats. That means any idiot can pass it." Delia smiled at her girlfriend. Patsy pulled a mock affronted face, before turning away. Trixie smiled as she witnessed the exchange. What she wouldn't give to have a relationship like theirs.

"Well, come on. We've got to get you to bed. I'm worried that you're not thinking straight," Patsy remarked, grabbing Delia's arm and dragging her away. Trixie just giggled in the background.

They paused in the next room to grab Patsy's notebook. Delia put her finger to her lips when she saw Lucille and Valerie. Both women were asleep on the couch. Judging from the sight, Delia guessed that Valerie had been sitting with Lucille, then dozed off. She tipped her head slightly when she saw Valerie's arm around Lucille's shoulder. Comforting. Protecting. They looked like a proper couple, almost. Patsy grabbed the small notebook, before motioning to Delia that they should head upstairs. Delia nodded in agreement, but not before stealing another glance back. Patsy, not conscious of what Delia had told her, also glanced back at the sleeping pair.

"Do you think?" she mouthed. Delia shrugged, not entirely sure whether it was anything more. The action could be considered completely harmless, with no intention behind it at all. And, to the passing observer, that's probably what they would assume. But, Delia was different. She'd been acutely aware of any signs of affection ever since she'd gotten together with Patsy. They'd to be aware of every movement. Because anything could give them away.

She turned away and began to climb the stairs to the rooms. Patsy followed close behind, and then, the redheaded nurse decided to take a dare. She quickened her pace, catching up with Delia. Then, she reached her arm out and wrapped it around Delia's waist. Delia's beaming smile in return eliminated any regret that Patsy may have felt.

* * *

Unbeknownst to the couple, Valerie had begun to stir on the couch, hearing their footsteps. Her eyes widened slightly as Patsy laid her arm around Delia. Her eyes narrowed slightly. Suspicions confirmed.

* * *

 **Sorry it's been so long. Updates will be kinda spotty throughout the summer. Doing a lot of stuff. But, I'll try.**

 **Next time… When Valerie and Lucille decide to go out, they stumble across Gateways Club.**

 **R &R**

 **NightLightning21**


	4. Gateways

Gateways

In the next few weeks, things got back to normal at Nonnatus. Well, as normal as they could be. Sister Monica Joan was yelling at everyone about the rat problem, Trixie was going out with a new beau, and babies were being born every day.

"Valerie, how was your day?" Lucille asked, as Valerie entered the bedroom. The brunette midwife sat down, allowing herself a rest from the hectic day.

"Oh, clinic was busier than I've ever seen it. Which I suppose is a good thing, but we're really not prepared. Jenny was out on call, and Delia went home sick."

"What's wrong with Delia?" Lucille asked, concern for her friend rising to the surface.

"We're not sure. Patsy thinks it might be nerves mixed with a stomach pain," Valerie explained.

"Nerves?" Lucille questioned.

"For her final midwifery exams. They're tomorrow," Valerie answered. Lucille made a noise of understanding, remembering her own midwifery exams.

"Hey, are you working tomorrow?" Lucille asked. Valerie through a moment about the schedule.

"Yes, Patsy and I in the morning. Then Trix and Barbara in the evening. So, we've got the afternoon. Haven't you got the day off tomorrow?" Valerie asked.

Lucille nodded. "Yeah, I did extra today, so Sister Julienne said tomorrow was free for me."

"You wanna go out?" Lucille suggested. "I was thinking to maybe just go and have some time in the town."

"That sounds perfect," Valerie admitted. "Who knows, maybe we'll even get dates." Lucille cracked a small smile at that. Valerie smiled in response, her previous tired feeling forgotten. She would give up a few hours of sleep to go and see the town with Lucille.

"Maybe we'll find our future husbands," Valerie joked, pulling the covers up over her body. Today had been a tiring day. No more so than usual, but she'd had a restless night yesterday. Hopefully tonight she could actually get some sleep.

The next day, she's feeling better. At least well rested. Lucille wanted to get a bit of an early start, so they could maximize their time out. Valerie woke at seven, and quickly began getting ready.

After getting a bit of breakfast into her, she seemed to be ready for the day. Delia and Patsy came down the stairs, deep in conversation. Valerie tipped her head at Delia's worried tone. That's when the conversation from last night came to memory.

 _Oh right! The final midwifery exams._ Valerie slightly winced in sympathy. Delia absentmindedly poured milk into her tea, then waited for Patsy to join her.

"Hello Delia, good luck on your exams," Valerie said, nodding to the brunette. Delia smiled at her.

"Thank you. I think I'll need all the luck I can get." She grimaced slightly. Her heart was pounding already, and her breath was short. Patsy shot her a sympathetic look, but wasn't willing to risk physical contact. Instead, she opted for making Delia her tea, and sitting with her.

Valerie pretended not to look. But she was actually fascinated. She'd grown up hearing gossip about the queers in the community. She'd seen many men get arrested for "acts of an indecent nature." She knew all about it.

But for some reason, it had never occurred to her that it could be the same with women. Was that wrong too? Well yes, of course. But… but Patsy and Delia were good people. Valerie would not judge them on one aspect of their character.

Besides, she'd never really had a problem with the queers. In that, she agreed with Sister Monica Joan. That a crime had to hurt somebody.

"You're up early," Trixie noted, stepping into the room. Valerie nodded, still waiting for Lucille.

"Yeah, Lucille wanted to go out today," she explained. Trixie nodded.

"You two are getting awfully close," she commented, though it was only curiosity that was present in her voice.

"Yeah, Lucille's really a joy to spend time with. She's an absolutely fabulous friend." Valerie smiled, thinking of the other midwife. Trixie nodded and was about to say more when the phone rang.

"Darn, got to fly. Have fun out," she said, heading away. Valerie thanked her, wishing her luck on the delivery. A movement from behind alerted her to Lucille's presence in the kitchen.

"You ready?"

* * *

They spend the morning looking at the small stores around Poplar, with each of them purchasing a few new things. It was eleven forty-five by the time they wanted to eat lunch.

"Where do you want to go?" Valerie asked as they walked by a small club. Lucille stopped to look at it, giving it a curious stare.

"What's this?" she asked, pointing to the small red door. Valerie turned around and examined the building. It was small, almost non-descript. She didn't think she'd ever been in.

"Uh, I don't know. I've never been in." A look a Lucille told Valerie that where she wanted to go. She shrugged and allowed Lucille to enter.

It was dark inside and dimly lit. There was cigarette smoke clouding the air too, due to the lack of ventilation. They descended down the steps, looking around. There were only women here.

Valerie led Lucille over to the bar, still looking around. Something was off about this place. Lucille noticed it too.

"First time girls?" the bartender asked, coming over to them. They both nodded, still not able to put a finger on what was off. Later, they would think how stupid they first were.

"Well, it's okay. I know being a couple in these times ain't easy. But we're here for you. A safe space to be yourselves, even if it's just for a little while." She smiled at them and poured them both a whiskey. Valerie was still staring at her when she left to take care of another guest.

So that's what had been off. As she looked around, she realized that indeed the women here were couples. She almost gasped out loud. Her own wide-eyed gaze met Lucille's as they exchanged shocked looks.

"This is…" Lucille was unable to finish her sentence. Maybe it's because she was too busy looking. Looking everywhere, with an almost curiosity in her eyes. Valerie was feeling very similarly.

"Right…" She looked around again, her gaze lingering on some of the couples dancing in the corners.

"We're in a gay bar."

 **Sorry if this chapter is crap, I'll revise it if you all hate it.**

 **Next time… When heading home from Gateways, Valerie learns a shocking secret.**

 **R &R**

 **NightLightning21**


	5. Take the Chance

Take the Chance

Valerie still wasn't entirely what exactly had happened. She and Lucille both just kind of stood there, unable to process everything that was happening.

"We're…" Lucille trailed off, still looking at the couples dancing around them. She was equal parts fascinated and petrified.

"Let's go," Valerie muttered, quickly heading for the steps. Lucille followed numbly, stumbling out of the club. Valerie immediately headed to a nearby cafe, not even close to being ready to go back to Nonnatus. She acknowledged Lucille come in behind her and go to the counter.

"Here," Lucille said, placing a cup of tea in front of the other midwife. Valerie thanked her with a smile and took a grateful sip.

"Well… that was unexpected," Valerie said, after a few minutes of comfortable silence. Lucille nodded, setting her cup down.

"I knew that it happened of course, but I never expected it to be so… in my face." Valerie tipped her head, still thinking about it. Lucille nodded in understanding.

"Yes well, it certainly is a shock to us. But, I personally do not have a problem with the way they live their lives," she said, her voice hardening slightly. Valerie gave her a curious look.

"Of course neither do I. I've known a few people who were like that. And they were all perfectly lovely people. It's my opinion that the law doesn't dictate everything we do." Lucille nodded in agreement again. She took another sip of her tea, draining the cup.

"Well, I think it's time we got back to Nonnatus."

"Oh, hello girls," Nurse Crane greeted, as Valerie and Lucille walked through the door. They both nodded respectfully and headed to their room. On their way up, they bumped into Patsy and Delia both heading downstairs.

"Oh, hello you two," Valerie greeted, smiling at the two.

"Hello," Patsy said, nodding at the two midwives. Lucille smiles in greeting before speaking.

"Where are you two headed?" she asked. Patsy smiled.

"Oh, we just came back because Delia insisted on taking a shower. She's had a rather… messy day." Valerie winced in sympathy. Delia just rolled her eyes.

"Now come on Pats, they don't have to know everything that I've touched within the past twenty-four hours now do they?"

Patsy blushed beet red, spinning around to face the brunette. Delia just gave a small smile before leading the redhead down the stairs. Valerie could hardly bite down a smile when she saw them heading off. There was something validating about seeing people living strongly with the difficulties they face.

* * *

Valerie sighed as she entered her room, Lucille, on her heels. She kicked off her shoes and Lucille did the same. Lucille wandered towards the window, seemingly hesitating for a few seconds. Finally, she took a deep breath and turned around.

Lucille followed Valerie mutely into the bedroom, taking her shoes off as Valerie sat down on the bed. She could feel a sweat creeping up her body, as she prepared for what she needed to say.

She wandered over to the window, looking down on the peaceful streets of Poplar. Funny to think it would stay exactly the same in the world after she told Valerie what she was going to. Yet it seemed to be the decider of what her own life would entail.

"Valerie…" she trailed off, suddenly hoping that the brunette midwife did not hear her. She did of course.

"Yes?" she asked turning around on the bed. Lucille forced her gaze away from the window and onto Valerie.

"There's… um, there's something I want to tell you. Something I need to tell you. I've always wanted to, but I never really could."

"This sounds like it's leading up to something bad," Valerie interjected, worry racing across her features. Was Lucille ill or something?

"No, no," Lucille said, rushing to calm Valerie down. But it didn't do anything to help her own nerves.

"Valerie… I'm queer," Lucille said, forcing the words out. Her voice wobbled and broke on the last word, but Valerie understood it completely.

She blinked a few times, unable to even fathom an appropriate response for that. However, when Lucille began to head for the door, Valerie acted on instinct. She sprang from the bed and grabbed Lucille's arm. Lucille flinched away but ceased any movement to escape. Instead, she dropped onto the bed, unable to face her friend.

Valerie gently touched her arm, trying to snap Lucille out of her trance. Lucille slowly looked up, though she still averted her gaze. Valerie's heart broke at Lucille's almost frail reaction.

"Lucille…" she trailed off waiting for something, anything from her friend. But it wasn't forthcoming.

"It's okay," she suddenly blurted out. Lucille started at her raised voice, and Valerie silently cursed herself for scaring her.

"It's what?" Lucille asked. Well, at least she was returning conversation. Valerie struggled with what to say now.

"I… I don't believe it's wrong. Believe me, I support you. I know that views on homosexuality are… well downright despicable but I do not share them." Lucille's eyes widened just a bit. But she was still suspicious. Valerie sighed and paused for a second.

"I'm queer too," she blurted out. Her mind instantly screamed at her to take it back, but the words were already out there. Lucille's mouth actually dropped open at that. She looked like someone had just thrown a ball in her face.

"You're… that's…" Lucille seemed to lose the ability to form sentences for a minute.

"Why would you tell me this?" she finally asked. Valerie was surprised to hear this one. It definitely wasn't what she expected. She shrugged slightly, averting her gaze. Lucille fought a small smile on her face as she watched Valerie's flustered reaction. Well, at least she was a tiny bit more confident in what she thought and felt.

"I don't know," Valerie said. One look from Lucille told her she wouldn't get away with that.

"Because I…" She cut off once again and gave herself a few moments to truly think this through.

"Valerie?" Lucille questioned.

"Sod this," Valerie exclaimed. She leaned forward, closing the distance between them, and pressing her lips to Lucille's.

* * *

 **Drama! It'll get better next chapter I promise.**

 **Next time… Valerie and Lucille begin to navigate the complicated path of a relationship. Barbara is diagnosed with septicemia.**


	6. Light and Dark

Light and Dark

Every nerve was on fire. Valerie still wasn't quite sure what was happening. But at the same time, she was trying to memorize everything about this moment. Because it could all blow up horribly in her face.

After several seconds, both women pulled away. Lucille seemed shellshocked. She was breathing heavier, and Valerie wasn't sure if it was because of just the kiss. But Lucille didn't speak. Didn't say a word.

They sat there in silence for a full minute. Bodies just inches away from each other. Valerie could feel the body heat from Lucille, as the other nurse tried to contemplate. She didn't know what to do.

"Lucille?" she asked, voice faltering slightly. She cleared her throat, prepared to try again.

"I-" she was cut off by Lucille moving. The other nurse, in one smooth movement, brought Valerie's face closer to hers and pressed their lips together again. Valerie got over her initial shock fairly quickly.

She responded eagerly, raising a hand to pull Lucille even closer. Lucille shifted so their bodies were pressing together. Valerie never wanted to stop. Never ever.

But a knock at the door had them both springing apart, trying to fix rumpled clothes and smooth out their hair. Valerie cleared her throat while Lucille went and opened the door. So much for that moment.

"It's Barbara. She's in the hospital." Phyllis is near tears as she speaks these words. Valerie's emotions switch from shock to horror to relief. Because as much as she cares for Barbara, a tiny part of her is also glad Phyllis was not aware of what had just happened. She could tell that Lucille felt it too.

Valerie though had to follow Phyllis out of the bedroom. She only got a glance at Lucille before she had to leave. Downstairs, people were already gathered. Patsy and Delia were standing next to Trixie, while the nuns were talking quietly with Tom. She joined the nurses, sharing a concerned look with Delia.

"I'm just so worried," Trixie said, blinking back a few tears. "We don't even know how serious it is."

"Which means there's room for hope," came the quiet voice of Lucille. Valerie jumped a full six inches straight up. She spun around to see Lucille approaching the group. Their eyes locked for a few seconds before Valerie looked down at her feet. Lucille began to talk to Trixie while Valerie tried to recover from the scare.

Patsy was looking at her, eyes narrowed just slightly. Valerie could feel the questioning gaze coming from the redhead. She shifted uncomfortably. Because right now should really be about Barbara. But with that just happened, Valerie's thoughts just kept drifting.

"We'll just have to see how this goes. Barbara's a tough lass. I'm sure she'll pull through," Phyllis said. But her voice just didn't seem to hold the authority it usually did.

* * *

The next days were hard. Barbara got no worse but also no better. Patsy went through the cycles of work with a monotone like feel. She was still the same person, but her professional facade seemed to be up all the time now.

The only times when she could relax were with Delia. The tension was so thick it could practically be cut with a knife. Even Sister Monica Joan was more subdued than usual.

"It'll be alright, Pats," Delia said, pulling her girlfriend into a hug. Patsy allowed her guard down for just a few seconds, before pushing herself back up into a sitting position.

"I hate not knowing," she admitted. "I feel like, even if it's bad news, knowing will always be better than ignorance." Delia nodded and reached out to touch her arm. Patsy flinched when she did so, and Delia quickly recoiled.

"No, I'm sorry," she said, seeing Delia's face fall. "I suppose I'm just jumpy."

"I understand," Delia said, blue eyes understanding. Patsy felt her heart twist a little in her chest. After so many years of nothing… then Delia came. And she couldn't be more grateful. With Delia in her life, everything felt more right.

"What did I do to deserve you?" she asked, shaking her head fondly. Delia just smiled, blue eyes growing softer.

"Patsy? Delia?" The door of the room creaked open, and Trixie entered the room. Patsy jumped away, quickly standing up before the blonde nurse could enter the room.

"Yes?" Patsy asked, professional facade suddenly fully up. Trixie stepped into the room, a delighted sparkle in her eyes.

"Barbara has woken up. She's going to be okay!" Patsy felt a surge of relief in her chest upon hearing those words. Immediately she and Delia followed Trixie downstairs to celebrate with Nonnatus about the joyous news. It seemed like finally, something was going right.

Phyllis ruled over Barbara's visiting hours with an authoritarian kind of hold. Each person was allowed in for a minimal amount of time to interact with the beloved midwife. Patsy and Delia had gone out shopping to find something that Barbara might enjoy. Patsy settled on a small pot with a lovely white flower growing in the center.

Delia had found a small wooden carousel in one of the little stores and decided to bring it as well. Barbara had been effusive in her thanks and clasped their hands eagerly when she received the gifts. Patsy was so relieved to see her friend looking so lively. But none of them could know what happened after that.

Valerie was just getting back from rounds when she saw Tom being consoled by the nuns. He looked awful, with his hair messily hanging in his eyes.

"Yeah, I've got to get back," she overheard him saying. He rubbed at his eyes, almost swaying on his feet before he steeled himself and took off towards the door. Valerie stepped out of his way, swallowing down the emotion she was feeling. Because above all Valerie was a nurse. She was an army nurse. And something inside her told her that this would not be a happy ending.

She confessed these feelings to Lucille that night. Because neither of them was willing to talk about the kiss. So they talked about Barbara. Until the phone rang. They exchanged a worried but resolute gaze when they saw Phyllis rush out of the house.

So it began.

* * *

 **Well, here we go.**

 **Next time… When Barbara passes away, Valerie and Lucille seek comfort in each other**


	7. False Beginnings

False Beginnings

Valerie maintained her neutrality until Phyllis returned. She and Lucille stood in her room, neither one even thinking of sitting down. Valerie was pacing and Lucille was simply staring at the clock.

"I'm sure she'll be fine," Valerie said confidently.

"You think?" Lucille asked hopefully. Valerie nodded and tried her hardest to keep up her smile. She did everything she could to take her mind off of Barbara. But it seemed like everything she did was futile. Lucille sensed it too. She hesitantly placed a hand on Valerie's shoulder, waiting to see if she would be rejected. But Valerie didn't do anything. Lucille gently pulled and spun Valerie around to face her.

"We have to have faith," she said resolutely. Valerie felt annoyance well up slightly at Lucille's unshaken faith.

"Faith?" she asked, almost sarcastically. "Barbara was the most faithful person I knew. Tom is a reverend. How does faith seem to have served them? I've never been the super religious type. Too many horrors in the world… too much suffering. And now with Barbara. I just can't make any sense of it." Valerie finished her mini-rant, already feeling guilty for bashing on Lucille's beliefs. She sighed and turned away from the other midwife. But Lucille's eyes were kind when she walked around Valerie to face her once again.

"I understand your feelings, Valerie," Lucille said kindly. "I would be lying to say I haven't felt them sometimes. Especially with whatever… um… this is. But it is not the Lord's job to make our lives easy. We, as humans, have every ability to find joy in life."

"But, Barabra," Valerie protested half-heartedly.

"Barbara did not deserve this sickness. But I do not believe that God intended or intentionally caused Barbara to fall ill." Valerie took a deep breath and turned her head away.

They both looked up though when there was a small commotion downstairs. The door was being opened. They both rushed downstairs, almost tripping over each other. But it was only Sister Monica Joan, returning from a small stroll. Valerie could see the tears very clearly in the older nun's eyes. The walk had not helped.

"Still nothing," Sister Julienne said, and she couldn't quite keep her voice from shaking. They all stood there and the fire was the only sound in the large room. Valerie felt her breathing slow down as they all sought comfort in each other. Valerie felt her gaze shift to Lucille as the night wore on. She was so beautiful. Even with tear streaks so visible on her stricken face.

They all turned hopefully towards the door when the handle turned. Valerie sucked in a hopeful breath as Tom and Phyllis entered. Her eyes sought out Tom's and she hoped with everything she had that Barbara had made it. But one look at the tears in Tom's eyes and the weakness in Phyllis' step made it very clear the outcome of Barbara's sickness. She heard a sob escape Sister Julienne's lips as Tom and Phyllis joined their small little band. Valerie felt her eyes well up with tears, blurring the room. She felt Lucille's hand on her shoulder and the first tear slid down her cheek. Barbara, good, kind, gentle, innocent Barbara.

She saw Patsy and Delia clinging to each other as well as they joined the larger group. Tom remained almost numb, barely moving or reacting to the others. Valerie saw Phyllis slip out quietly through the doors, barely containing her choking grief. Valerie leaned back into the group and let her sadness consume her for a short while.

* * *

In the weeks following Barbara's death, Valerie found herself seeking emotional comfort in the arms of Lucille quite often. But they never talked about that one night. Valerie was terrified to bring it up. They were both emotional, and Barbara had died that night.

"Long shift?" Lucille asked gently as Valerie finished emptying out her kit.

"Lucille? It's after midnight… what are you-" Lucille cut her off as she approached closely. She glanced behind her before running a tentative hand up and down Valerie's arm. The brunette midwife almost shuddered at the touch. Lucille was focused on the patterns she was tracing on Valerie's arm, and her hand began to drift upwards. She rubbed soothing circles on Valerie's bicep as she fought to keep her eyes open. She was startled when she felt Lucille's other hand gently graze her cheek.

"What's going on here," Valerie whispered softly. Her voice was barely a whisper and she wondered if Lucille had heard her.

"I'll be honest here, Valerie. I have no idea." Lucille softly pushed her hair back and took her hand away from Valerie's arm.

"That night… um with Barbara and everything. I… we were both so emotional and everything. I just, I don't know…" Lucille trailed off, apparently unable to keep speaking. Valerie felt her heart clench a little. She never should've brought this up.

"You're my best friend, Valerie. I don't want to jeopardize that." Lucille blinked a few times and turned away from Valerie's pressing gaze.

"I understand that, I guess," Valerie said quietly. She felt a claw of pain enter her chest and tried to push it away.

"Oh, Valerie. Please try to understand. This is all so hard for… for both of us. I know that and-" Lucille was cut off when they heard someone coming down the stairs. Valerie whipped around and felt a stab of relief when she saw it was just Delia.

"Oh, hello you two. Couldn't sleep either?" she asked conversationally. Valerie and Lucille both shook their heads.

"Hm, I was just going to make myself a bournvita and scurry on up to bed." Delia exchanged a look with Valerie and was clearly able to sense the tension in the air. Valerie blinked at her gratefully. Good, understanding Delia. She felt a wave of thankfulness for the brunette nurse.

They were left waiting somewhat awkwardly until Delia was pouring the hot liquid into her mug. On her way back, she gave Valerie's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. Lucille cleared her throat awkwardly. Valerie just sighed.

"You know what? Let's just forget this," she said quietly. She got up abruptly and saw Lucille's surprised expression.

"Come on, Luce. It'll be easier for everyone. You said it yourself. Um, I'll see you in the morning." Valerie sighed and forced herself to turn away and walk towards the steps. Lucille was left dazed in the kitchen. She stared after Valerie and felt her stomach contract a little. They had a long road ahead of them.

* * *

 **Next time… We're getting close to the end here. Valerie and Lucille must overcome a series of emotional obstacles if they wish for a happy ending.**

 **R &R**

 **NightLightning21**


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